


It feels almost too real

by atinyzz



Category: GOT7
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, It might be boring at first, M/M, Mentioned GOT7 Ensemble, Plot Twists, Sad, but stick with me it gets better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:01:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23937325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atinyzz/pseuds/atinyzz
Summary: Jackson loves Mark and Mark loves him too, or at least that's what Jackson would like...
Relationships: Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the mistakes, English is not my mother tongue.  
> Enjoy !

Jackson lived in a city near a very particular beach. At night it was so beautiful. The lights would shine so brightly that they would reflect on the water. It looked like there were tiny light bulbs floating on water, that were shining with different colors.

He liked to spend time there with his friends. He couldn't even count how many nights they had throw a party there. It was a safe space in this huge city, so full of people.

Nevertheless, for Jackson, the beauty of the scenery was nothing compared to the beauty of his lover, Mark.

He was is lover, his best friend, his favorite person in the world. He had brought Mark to that beach countless times. They would come to the beach, remove their shoes and feel the sand beneath their feet. They would eat, drink wine and spend hours and hours dancing to whatever music that would come out of Mark's phone. For Jackson those moments were the best. He was so in love with Mark, that sometimes it hurt. He couldn't imagine a life without him, he needed to see his smile, to hear his laugh, but what he liked the most was the way Mark gazed at the world around them. When they would eat at their favorite restaurant on the beach, Jackson would observe Mark for long minutes. Perhaps even more. Mark usually looked straight ahead, with a content smile, satisfied to be here with Jackson. He loved Jackson so much.

Tonight was no different. They were in Jackson's car, he was driving them to the same beach. The roof of the car was down and the wind was blowing in Mark's hair and was spinning his open shirt in all directions. It felt right to be there. The weather was nice and there was no other place Jackson would have dreamed to be at the moment. This summer night was hot but the the wind felt so good on their skin. Jackson took the freedom to look at Mark for an instant. He was singing the lyrics of his favorite song from the bottom of his heart, arms raised like he was trying to tickle the stars. They were speeding through the night, it was so romantic. Jackson felt like he was in some teen movie. Mark giggled from time to time when he got the lyrics wrong, and Jackson's heart fluttered faster every time he heard that sound. When would he eventually get used to Mark's laugh ? That was a question no one had the answer to.

When they finally arrived at the beach, all their friends were here. Jinyoung and his girlfriend, Jaebeom, Yugyeom and his boyfriend BamBam, Youngjae and his girlfriend. And so many others. There was a campfire and some electro music in the background.

Really, Jackson couldn't have dreamed of anything better.

Jackson looked at Mark and they exchanged a loving gaze. He could feel all the love, respect and tenderness Mark had for him through his eyes. Without even being aware of it, he took Mark in his arms. "I love you so much, you know that, right ?" He took a deep breath. "I love you so much Mark, I don't even know how to express it sometimes. I- I just want you to know that."

Mark was about to answer but Jaebeom was faster. "Just ask him to marry you. I think that it would be quite explicit.."

Mark turned all red, he hid his face against Jackson's body. He dreamed of Jackson getting on one knee, asking him to be his husband with a sappy declaration. Just like those Hollywood movies. But for some reason Jackson had yet to do it.

Jackson just laughed at his friend remark. "I'll do it when time feels right, when I feel like it's the right moment. I just hope that the moment won't pass, I just hope that no matter what happens you stay by my side Mark."

Mark looked at Jackson right in the eyes. "Why are you so dreamy tonight ? I mean, you usually make mushy comments, but it feels different this time. Are you alright ?"

Jackson did felt a bit more emotional than his usual self, but he brushed it off quickly and gave Mark a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, don't worry. I just love you. A lot"

Mark chuckled. "I love you too. A whole lot." He bit his lip. "And to answer you, I will wait as long as I am alive. I want the moment to feel perfect too. Let's not rush, okay ?"

Jackson smiled at that. Mark would always understand. He was so patient with him, never pushing too much. "Okay."

Jackson looked at Mark eyes and then stared at his red plumped lips. He licked his own and bent over slowly.

But just when he was about to kiss him deep, Jackson woke up.

Indeed he couldn't have dreamed better. None of this was real.

He was in some hotel room, alone, in a city whose name he couldn't even remember. He had been in so many places lately, never taking the time to slow down, never taking the time to tell Mark that he loved him. But how could he ?

He was an idol, these kind of things were not good for his career, let alone for the rest of the band.

Jackson was alone in his hotel room, alone with feelings he wasn't even sure were mutual. But at this point he was at least sure that he loved Mark. He loved him with everything he had, with every breath, with every beat of his heart.

He got up of the bed and started to get ready for the day. He had a long list of things to get done here before he would go back to Korea, to Mark.

Mark never left his head once that day. One day he would confess his feelings. Sure, one day he would and it would be fine, even fine if Mark didn't love him back.

But before he went to bed he sent a text to Mark.

> _" I wrote a song today. It's a love story. I'm in love with this girl and I tell her how much I love her and how one day I plan to marry her, because I'm like her superhero or something along those lines._
> 
> _What do u think ? Is it stupid ? Do you think our fans will like it ? What about the rest of the group ? "_

He pressed sent and before he could get an answer, he felt asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jackson get their happy end. :)

The journey from the airport to his appartement had been the opportunity for Jackson to finally answer his texts. He ignored those from his manager and focused on the texts from his friends. Especially Mark's.

> _" ? ^^_ _I think you can make a good song with this, I’m sure everybody is going to like it. Who’s the lucky girl "_

It had been sent only few minutes after Jackson had felt asleep. He felt a bit warmer reading Mark’s words. He wanted to answer something like "What if it was a lucky boy ?" But Jackson knew better than to do so.  
Instead, he had offered Mark to come to his place if he was free. It was already late, but Jackson just hoped that the other wasn't already in the middle of something.

Mark answer had came rather quickly, a simple " _I’ll be there_ " and it was set.

Jackson had had the time to unpack, heat some noodles and take a shower before Mark arrived.  
When he opened the door his breath was taken away. Mark looked really good. He had his hair died pitch black and his make up made him look like he couldn’t help but blushing.

"You look good hyung."

"Not as good as you. How was your trip ? "

"The usual. It was fun, but I’m tired though. Do you want something to eat ? "

"Nah, I’m fine. It’s late."

Jackson didn’t know how to keep their conversation going. Usually, he was always the one with something to say.

They ended up on the couch watching some dumb show. None of them was really paying much attention.

"I missed you." Jackson was taken aback. He wasn’t expecting that.

"Em… Me too… It’s when I’m away that I realize how much I miss you guys."

Mark was silent for a moment before he turned to look at Jackson straight in the eyes. "You know… I’ve been thinking. Ever since you started doing your solo stuffs, you… We’ve been a bit distant. Honestly, I was surprised when you asked me to come." He paused briefly to lick his lips, before he started to speak again. "I thought you would have called Jinyoung.. But you didn’t. You called me."

Mark eyes were shinny. It seemed like he was about to cry. Well, Mark was quite sensitive and he cried a lot so Jackson assumed that he was just being his usual self.

"You’ve been doing this for few years now. You come and go. You're in some place I’m not aware of and I… I miss you."  
This time, he got up to stood in front of the window, gazing at the city. Jackson could tell that Mark was hesitant to say more. He stood up too and went to stand next to the older boy.

Jackson thought that the moment was over, but Mark took one of Jackson’s hand, squeezed it just a little and went on.

"But the worst part is that every time you come back, we don’t interact as we used to anymore. I can tell something is bothering you" he sighed. "I tried to think of something I could have done that would have made you feel uncomfortable, but honestly Jackson, nothing comes to my mind."  
Mark took his hand away and started to play with the sleeves of his hoodie. "We used to be best friends.. You know, _Markson forever_." he said, air quoting. Mark tried to laugh but it sounded bittersweet in Jackson’s hears.

Jackson knew that he had to say something now, but how was he supposed to explain himself ? How was he supposed to say that, yeah ever since he started his solo career he was distant on purpose. No, Mark was not to blame. Not completely at least. It was not really his fault if Jackson liked him.  
He wanted to tell his friend so badly that he liked him, and that it was why he had distanced himself, because he didn’t want to jeopardize their friendship.

On top of that, Mark just said it himself. They were only "best friends". He only saw Jackson as someone with whom he could spend some good time with. Not someone that he could kiss. They were friends and that was painful for Jackson. So as much as he wanted to confess, Jackson was more afraid to lose Mark than anything else. So he had kept his feelings for himself all this time.

Really, it seemed that no matter what he would do, they weren’t meant to be together at the end.

Jackson looked in front of him. The view he had from where he was standing was beautiful, peaceful even. It reminded him of his previous dream.  
The younger took a deep breath, whether he chose to confess to Mark or to ignore his feelings, they would drift apart anyway.

So he decided to be brave for once. Jackson turned his head to look at Mark’s side profile. He couldn’t see much with the dim light, but Mark was none the less beautiful. "You asked me earlier who was the lucky girl…" Jackson’s heart was beating so fast at the moment, he was sure his hyung could hear it from where he was standing. "But what if it was a boy ?"

Mark didn’t say anything for a moment. It wasn’t unusual, but now was definitely not the moment to keep it quiet. Jackson was one step away from having a heart attack.

"Well… I’m happy for you bro."

Bro ? Ew, really ?

"Okay, but what if… What if you were the girl in the song ?"

Mark eyes went wide. "What ?!"

"No ! Sorry, not the girl ! You’re not a girl, I meant the boy. What if you were the person I’m talking about."

"Jackson… I don’t want to marry you."

Now it was Jackson’s turn to be shocked. So he was right, Mark only liked him as a friend. His heart was crushed.

"Yet ! I don’t want to marry you, yet. Please don’t cry." Mark was giggling. Seriously, how could he be so mean ! Jackson hit Mark playfully on the arm. " I just don’t think that we are ready, also, our situation is kind of complicated. But I’d be really happy if we dated."

"So... is that a yes ?"

"Yes, dummy. I’ll be the person you’re talking about in the song."

"You know, it has always been you? That’s why I distanced myself, because I was scared."

Mark looked at him like he couldn’t believe his ears, Jackson had felt the same all this time.

"Well you sure know how to hide your feelings. I thought it was just me. And you know when I said that I missed you…" Mark ducked his head, embarrassed. "It wasn’t as a friend. When Bambam or Jaebeom are away I don’t miss them the same way. It’s different with you… I missed you because I didn’t know what you were doing, if you had eaten, if you slept well. And even when you were here, it still felt like something was off."

A small tear rolled on his cheek and Jackson wasted no time to wipe it off, delicately.

"I missed you because you were not mine."

Jackson was trying very hard not to cry now. "Guess we’ve been too blind to see that we had feelings for each other. We could have been making out this whooole time" he whined. Mark laughed lightly.

"It’s never too late to start." He was looking at Jackson with the biggest smile. Oh, how lucky Jackson was feeling !

For once, Jackson didn’t woke up after their exchange. His dream had come true. He was kissing Mark and it was real this time. He was no longer alone and the next time he would wake up in a hotel room in some place around the globe, he would still have Mark with him, in his heart.

(And he would be in Mark’s heart).

***

He still wrote the song as if it was meant for a girl, even though every word was for Mark. Even if he was talking about marriage, he knew that they didn’t have to rush anything. He would wait and he would propose when the time was right.

He would wait as long as he would be alive and as long as Mark would love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best, but it seems that even if I wrote an happy ending, most of the chapter was sad and angsty. 
> 
> (Sorry, hope you enjoyed nevertheless).


End file.
